


And All of Our Yesterdays Will Be Forgotten (a None of Our Tomorrows Can be Saved remix)

by athletiger



Category: Marvel 616
Genre: Angst, Civil War (Marvel), M/M, Not A Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:22:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22530043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/athletiger/pseuds/athletiger
Summary: He’ll never know if Tony heard him confess his love. He’ll never know if Tony loved him back because he destroyed that. He destroyed everything.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 6
Kudos: 70
Collections: 2020 Captain America/Iron Man Remix Madness





	And All of Our Yesterdays Will Be Forgotten (a None of Our Tomorrows Can be Saved remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ironlawyer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ironlawyer/gifts).
  * Inspired by [None of Our Tomorrows Can be Saved](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11766837) by [Ironlawyer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ironlawyer/pseuds/Ironlawyer). 
  * In response to a prompt by [Ironlawyer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ironlawyer/pseuds/Ironlawyer) in the [2020_Cap_Ironman_Remix_Madness](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/2020_Cap_Ironman_Remix_Madness) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> Universes: 616, Ults, EMH  
> Safe Works: Our Private World War, More Than Imperfect  
> No WIPs.  
> Remixes: The Illusion Cannot be Sustained, Always: A Memory, Screenburn, Hour of Lead.  
> Co-Authored: Sunset
> 
> -
> 
> Ever since I read [None of Our Tomorrows Can Be Saved](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11766837) (which was two years ago now), I've always wanted to write fic for this. It was so poignant and painful, gut-wrenching, and I just had so many feels for this fic. IL, I hope I did a remix of your fic justice because this is one fic I come back to time and time again.
> 
> Thanks to kittkat and starksnack/kait for the beta!

SHIELD approaches him slowly with adamantium cuffs. They needn’t have feared - with the fact that Tony’s dead, there is nothing left for Steve to fight. It doesn’t matter anymore if Tony or Steve was right about SHRA. It matters that he murdered his best friend. He can’t bear to see the cloudy eyes that are staring listlessly back at him, the brown in his irises muted. He can’t look away either because this is his punishment. He needs to face this, the consequences of his actions.

He’ll never know if Tony heard him confess his love. He’ll never know if Tony loved him back because he destroyed that. He destroyed everything.

“Captain Rogers, you’re under arrest for the mur—”

“Don’t,” Steve says in a fragile voice because if he listens to his transgressions, he’s going to lose it. He already regrets it. He can’t bear to hear it from someone else. His heart aches in his chest, and he’s holding onto his sanity by a very thin thread. He stands slowly, knees cracking as they adjust, and he takes a moment to regret throwing up on Tony’s boots. Tony didn’t deserve that sin. Steve turns, holding out his hands for the SHIELD agent to put the cuffs around his wrist.

It doesn’t matter that it’s undignified - he finds that he doesn’t have the energy to protest. He could have compromised with Tony, found a solution that didn’t lead to blows, but it’s much too late now. He follows behind the agent slowly, gravel crunching beneath his boots while the dirty dust in the air settles upon him. His uniform is ripped in places.

When Steve is about to enter the SHIELD prison transport, he looks back. He can’t see Tony; there are other agents surrounding his fallen body. He sighs, throat choking halfway through. Reality hits him, and he nearly staggers under the agony.

He’s killed Tony, and he’s never getting him back.

“Give him a good burial,” he whispers as the door shuts behind him with a pointed slam. The seat’s uncomfortable, but it’s a minor inconvenience to everything else.

In the darkness, he can imagine Tony snuggling into his side, a leg tossed over his legs. Steve smiles lazily as he feels Tony tracing nonsensical patterns upon his chest. “Hey,” he says.

Tony grins, moving his head so that it’s resting upon his shoulder. Automatically, Steve moves his arm to cradle him closer to his side. “Hey yourself,” Tony replies. Steve turns his head to press a small kiss to his lips. Tony’s lips are soft, and they part easily under his touch. He loves him.

When Tony finally runs out of breath and pulls away, Steve looks at his bright brown eyes. They are twinkling with mirth, and Steve can’t help but grin up at him. He asks, “What are you doing?”

“Waiting…” Tony strokes a palm down his sternum. It makes Steve laugh and squirm, and Steve pulls him closer again. Tony caves easily, settling his weight on top of Steve. Steve reaches up to comb his fingers through Tony’s bedhead. It's soft, and Steve can't help but feel affectionate at the way Tony nuzzles back. 

“Yeah? Waiting for what?”

Suddenly, the finger that was circling Steve’s skin is now a piece of rebar that’s pierced the center of his chest, and Steve gasps. He feels like he can’t breathe, like there’s a piece of his lung gone. He looks up at Tony beseechingly, mouth gaping open like a fish. He tries to speak; he can’t. 

Above him, Tony’s eyes are glazed and milky, blood seeping out of his mouth. The armor is cracked and broken. Tony’s dull voice cracks in the silence, “Waiting for you to die.”

Steve jerks awake and inhales sharply. He sits up, touching his chest, but already his lungs are freed from the imagination of being pierced. He looks over, but there is nothing there but the cold air of the prison cell. Tony was a dream, even if it felt so real to feel him in his arms. Steve settles into his hard cot, pressing his spine against the cold wall, and drops his head backwards. He won’t be able to sleep now - Tony haunts him in his dreams. Rather, they’re more like nightmares nowadays.

There’s a commotion outside his prison cell, and he looks towards the locked door. Light seeps through as someone steps inside. Steve can’t be bothered to stand, just looking at the silhouette with weary eyes. The figure has a likeness to Tony’s shape and size. Steve blinks.

“Get up!” God, he even sounds like Tony too. 

“Tony?” Steve whispers under his breath, too low for the silhouette to hear. He doesn’t immediately get up - his mind is playing tricks on him. He doesn’t want to find out whether the man in front of him is the man he killed. But he also wants to know whether it  _ is _ him.

Not-Tony makes a rude noise when Steve doesn’t follow his directions, and he steps aside to let two more people in. Then, Steve is bodily lifted out of bed. His hands are cuffed behind his back, and he’s marched out of his cell. Steve blinks and squints before his eyes adjust to the light. He looks at the agent in front of him, and his heart falls to the pit of his stomach. It isn’t Tony, although he had hoped. He’s pushed along and shoved into the prison transport before he finally figures it out.

Today is the day of his hearing.

Steve can feel the truck moving under his feet, and he bounces when they go over bumps occasionally. He doesn’t care - he really has nothing left to live for. His most ardent supporter, and his most ardent challenger too, is dead. What’s the point of fighting? He’ll plead guilty and live the rest of his days in a six-by-eight jail cell. It’s fitting of his punishment.

The truck jerks to a stop. The door is thrown open, and someone shoves him onto the street. There’s yelling, lots of yelling, as the crowd cheers and jeers and chants and… The police push the mob back, holding the line. But there are also reporters, and cameras flash into his eyes, memorializing the downfall of Captain America. SHIELD agents surround him, and they move forward, up the marble steps of Capitol Hill. He feels as if he’s marching to his death.

He hears a shot over the cacophony of noises, one very distinct  _ “pop” _ that pierces all other sounds. Then he feels it a moment later, tearing through his chest like someone ripping a piece of paper in two. He drops to his knees, gasping desperately for air. Distantly, he notes that the bullet is in the same place as where the rebar ripped through Tony’s chest, and he laughs at the irony. Then he chokes on air, wheezing for breath, and he falls ungainly on his side. 

Tony hovers over him. "Tell me," he asks mockingly, "was it worth it?" 

There's blood filling his lungs and his chest rises and falls rapidly, but he still can't breathe. The sharp edges of the stairs dig into his back; he barely feels them now. 

_ It wasn't worth it,  _ he tries to say, but he can't. SHIELD agents hover around him, pressing against his wound. The bleeding is too extensive. He's staining the marble red. 

Tony sighs, getting up. Steve wants him to stay, and he tries telling him so, but the words are stuck in his throat. His limbs are too heavy to move. 

Then, for a moment, his airway is clear, and he can breathe again. "Do you love me?" he whispers at his back. 

Tony stills for a moment. Steve blinks, hoping that he would say yes, that he might return his love. But the silent answer is damning. Warm blood trickles out of his mouth, and with his dimming vision, he watches Tony walking away. His chest stutters, and stills.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading <3


End file.
